oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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