Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
