she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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