She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Success! We fucked roommates!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
