spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
