I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
