The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
