he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
