I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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