I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
