Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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