you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
