Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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