its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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