nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Randomize
