fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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