he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
