so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
