found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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