I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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