screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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