maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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