I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
