thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
