Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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