We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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