yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
