My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
