perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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