some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
