I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
