It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
