I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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