Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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