let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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