fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize