I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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