So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
