It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
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a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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