It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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