The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
