Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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