im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
