just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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