whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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