I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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