we made out on top of his cat.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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