I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
only if we run a train.
done.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
