Sry I called you an 8
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
BRING THE BAGELS
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
