btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
