he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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