the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
