after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
