you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Girls should come with a carfax report
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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