community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
