idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
