there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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