There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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