For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
