I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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