she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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